4:36
AM 3/20/98
So here i am
in my bed
with my laptop.
A
little heavier than my book (lighter than a man)
but not much.
Just need to have the power supply.
How
long does it take me to learn word wrap? Maybe
more than i know. Just talking non-sensi-cal.
Non-rhythmical. what the
hell?
Where
did all the karma go? So much going
on. Must be the spring.
So
much to say. not coming out.
wanting to talk about mark. finding
that i don't.
keeping
it all in. i had faith there once.
I have it again, but somehow belief has failed me.
Normally the other way around. Strange
not to see my handwriting. (Handwriting)
Gives so much away.
what is my intention? what is my
intention? The room is opening up.
so much i can do again.
where
do i want to go? i have been the
disco
i have been the rain. i have tubed
down the apple river on summer days.
and rode in limos across the way.
(what
the hell) this ego won't die. because
it can't die...with out me. With in
me, to change it. Have to go.
I go. he cometh
in me
kind
of neat i can shut my eyes and see in here.
just be here. wiggle my
fingers and words are here. i can
feel here.
want
to go home. dreamt about the storm
again. Big one coming lots of
lightening. I feel it, sense it. Know
it's coming. Try to avoid it, try to reclaim it and run again.
lots of lightening it is chasing me... room
to room, it's chasing me the lightening so i get in my car and i drive real hard
it's
like i think i know a place, a safe place in the country/hills.
Gonna go there. gonna be safe. from
the wind and the storm but the only thing following me is the lightening.
Like a rod. I'm a rod and
it's coming for me.
Crashing
in the middle of rooms as i squat in the corner. It's coming, yet i remain unharmed.
think i'm too tired.
