3 Feet Thick - by Thomasina Kundalini

8/10/00 3 Feet Thick (Somewhere In The Grand Tetons)

The day you left for vacation I asked when you would return. You said, ‘the crows will let you know when I’m coming.” There once was a day I would have said something like, “Oh, my sweetest one, you speak of crows as if you know them. As if a part of you has always know some sort of a connection to me. Like it’s meant to be, and I think we should somehow explore it.”

And now all I can think is, “Oh brother, don’t you even think about taking the crows in vain! Don’t think you might have some sort of leverage because you’ve figured out something that catches my fancy. Don’t even…cuz buddy, I got fire in my back pocket, and I ain’t afraid to use it!”

Then I think, “Oh no, don’t be thinking there gonna be some magik now cuz they’ll be no smoke and mirrors today. The most you’re gonna get is some sleight of hand in a freakish sideshow. Oh no, you just watch yourself. That’s MY bird…so you just go on. Yeah, that’s right…you just go on.”

Yeah, and I feel sorry for you too, cuz of all the bastards that came before you. All the punks, all the assholes…all the ones who lied and said that they… yeah, you know what they said…that they loved me. Now any chance of me being receptive is gone. Wiped out. In fact, I’m defensive. I have walls to protect me from that shit. I have walls 3 feet thick, and there will be no carnival today.

The gates are closed.
The ride is over.

There is a time for everything. For now, it’s all just provoked me.