you know
it just fucking sucks.
thanks for coming over here and fucking up my day
thanks for making me feel like shit on the night of my birthday
did that make you feel better?
you intentionally sabotaged my emotions.

so fuck you.
it's better this way.
it won't be the first.
have any of my X's ever cared?
did i get a Vader?
did i get a bank?
fuck no
i never do.
you just made it obvious

i tried not to expect any thing...
though i, at least, hoped for GOOD
i just wanted to be with you
and that wasn't good enough for you
you put words in my mouth
to make me look bad

and what you believe i said
speaks volumes.
it's what you perceive
and repeat back to me
that is your image of me
and i will not stand here
and listen to your lack of concern
your inability to recognize
the fact that you are hurting me
the more you tell me
what you think of me

but you told me
you don't care for me
you don't love me
and i can appreciate that
it's the same old story.
i've heard it many times by now...

and i guess for my birthday
i just want to give myself
a chance
to be free
so that maybe someday
someone WILL love me.

thats all
that's all i ever wanted.

By thomasina kundalini